Where the hell is Matt?!

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Left my heart

I think I'm going to get my heart broken again... Ah well.

All I need....

It's amazing how a little alcohol helps in finding words that usually elude me...

That last post was written slightly drunk... being that i drank wine on an empty stomach on a sunday afternoon...

as yes, a perfect way to waste the day away - slightly stoned.

In my defense, i ate some breakfast, albeit at 5pm in the afternoon... and got perfectly sober...

I think I might be in love again... MIGHT... or it's just a passing infatuation... urgh...

SO

Here I am, sitting in book cafe waiting for my breakfast to arrive... typing on a macbook that's not mine... waiting for a revelation...  and nothing happens...

That's my life these days... I seem to be constantly waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever does...

I really do need to get my ass off the couch and do something, but i just don't know what.

But that's me... 

I never seem to know... what to do, what i am, what i want...

It seems to elude me, this thing known as direction... 

I never have my own... A superficial non-existence that I call my life... 

Missing

Hello. It's been a long while. In this time, I've been trying to reflect.

In the end, I'm just a shallow person constantly wallowing in my lack of love and not satisfied with what I already have. I am blessed with people who care and love me... Thanks.

Was chatting with A the other day, and we came across the topic of exes... You know, the ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.

It's a funny position to be in. You can't really exist for the person, but you're not non-existent either. And it applies to the friends of the ex. No matter how close you were, but because you are the ex, you become an ex-friend too.

It's depressing, but it's true.

I miss those memories, but I know that they'll never happen again. Thank you for all the good times we shared. I'll just have to make new memories with the friends that are around me now.



I want to try new things. The good, the bad, the ugly. I crave new, but I'm so utterly terrified of trying.

It's time to grow up. But I don't know how to.

It's time, for a new me.