sorry

i know i haven't been updating in a while... dunno if anyone even checks this place...

I think i'm a realist with an inner dreamer...

why?

i dunno... i dream... but i never pursue my dreams...

i dream of acting... singing... stardom... but i never do anything about it...

i dream of love... hugs... kisses... but still i run...

i look at the sky when i walk out of my house... i like to look up... see what's above me... the sky... the ceiling... whatever... just... up...

i see blue... framed in withered branches and white fluffy clouds...

i would like to take a photo... but i would look stupid standing by the side of the road taking a photo of a spot of blue surrounded by brown...

appearances... i do wish i can forgo my vanity and my need for others' opinions...

i am a sheep... at times...

and some think me as a leader...

i'll probably lead them into failure... uncertainty...

i really want self esteem... i really want independence... but.

there's always the 'but'.

Happiness... what's that?