So.

[now playing: Avril Lavigne - Happy Ending]

It's saturday night, and i'm home.

i seriously. hate. my life.

i mean, fine, i go to a family dinner, which i thought was some farewell thing for my cousin, but he's not there, and i got fobbed. It was just a dinner. that's it.

then, when i get news that people might be going clubbing, my parents give me the "go and you're fucked up" face. Turns out, it gets cancelled coz everyones's too lazy and it's very leh cheh to go home and change and come out again.

nevermind.

then when i try to talk, everyone interrupts me, and i never get to finish my sentence. i would also like to state for the record, that that is why i sometimes end up doing that to my friends. everytime i try to talk, someone would talk about something else before i finish my story. i have this inane nightmare that i'm screaming in a crowd, till mt throat is torn and bleeding but nobody hears me and i black out and die.

anyway, that's normal for my family. they all talk about me like i'm not there. sometimes, i don't feel like i'm there. i don't bother to participate or talk sometimes coz there's no point. no one understandsor hears anyway.

in any case, there i am, in the living room, when my dad starts to diss me to my aunt. saying how one day i'll burn the house down with the electricity things in my room and shit. i mean, HELLO! i am HERE. but he just continues like i'm not even there.

sometimes i wish i was never born. what's the point? all i do is take up time, effort and money. they think my sister's the perfect one. that's coz she fuck care them and did her own shit. me? i had to listen to them, be the goody two shoes, and not fight back when i should. where does that leave me?

what am i now? a person with no initiative to do anything. i don't even know what i want to do with my life. all i ever do is listen to people and do as they say.

i can't do this anymore. who am i?